festivities and explorations (photos from may)

this is a reposting of my second facebook album of korea for those not on that site.

namdaemun:

this transvestite was talking to everyone who walked by...if only we understood what he was saying

this is where the namdaemun gate (one of the main national treasures of south korea) used to be. a man who was angry at the government for taking his land set it on fire

a tiny piece of namdaemun market

spices in the market

hi seoul fest, gyeongbokgung:

we missed the ceremony, but we got to see all the participants go back to their buses

haha some of them wanted to take photos with us

the palace as the sun was beginning to set

hi seoul fest, world dj festival:

waiting for the subway and hoping we're not going to have to take a taxi all the way across seoul

this is where we're headed

for this!

people and lights everywhere

during the dj that was playing when we finally got there around 1:30

that is a gross pig's head, which sadly somehow kept finding me

fire dancer

brandon, ellie and i around 3ish, plus a random man who jumped into our photo

glow sticks that created a short-lived mosh pit

we danced till the sun came up!

and felt really bad for the festival staff on trash duty

dirty feet after a long night of dancing

way too many stairs before six a.m.

olympic park, children's day:

people evvverywhere

somehow we avoided getting hit or clotheslined by all the many kites

i miss playing with bubbles

so many things flying through the air

first potluck in seoul:

ellie whipping up some veggie stir-fry

our yummy meal

haha nick and jimmy got couples' t-shirts

olympic park, buddha's birthday:

this is sara, an inquisitive and persistent little girl who came up and wanted to talk to us, throw frisbee, and borrow my camera to take photos of herself...

...her little sister and ellie...

...she and i...

...and her family, haha

mini-excursion to mok-dong:

tyler up in a pagoda on a hill that gave us a 360-degree view of endless city lights

cute little girl that giggled every time we waved at her or said "annyong haseyo" :)

teachers day:

check out all the gifts i got...two hankerchief sets, an umbrella set, a mascara set, a rose, sunblock, and a carnation in the gaudiest flower holder i've ever seen

ellie being silly with the flower scepters

all of our flowers hanging up to dry

insadong market:

london has come to south korea

army bride photo op, anyone?

decorations in one of the areas of the market

we found these excellent new treats at a street vendor along the way...this is a deep-fried donut pancake thing, and it is probably the most unhealthy food you'll find in korea

part of a small protest against china's repatriation and human trafficking of north korean refugees

we stumbled across an awesome martial arts ceremony/demonstration thing down a random side street

one day soon i will begin exploring the alleys i find in seoul

oh, the fatality waiting to happen...

costco trip (thanks baron!):

one result which we will thoroughly enjoy

we had to eat some right away

exploring near school: 

this is to prove that once in a while we can actually see the mountains

i came across an early-evening soccer match and felt like i was back in zona seis in guatemala

a path and stream that wind through songpa near olympic park

the koreans really love their exercise machines

world cup qualifying match, south korea v. jordan:

masses of people streaming out of the subway station

they unfurled a huge south korea flag before the game started

world cup stadium!

this is to point out how many people were there and just how much red those people were wearing

penalty kick for south korea! (resulted in a goal)

final score: sk 2, jordan 2. we were waiting for overtime but it never came...

step back

i know it's been a few weeks since i last posted, and i apologize for that. my head has been a bit of a mess lately, and it's (frustratingly) made it difficult to sort out my thoughts and write down anything about this experience for you all. there are a few varied reasons, but the basic gist is that i've struggled to find some perspective on teaching here in korea. there have been days during the past few weeks when i've wondered if i can really do this. i came here because it was an amazing opportunity to both see a different part of the world and pay off a big chunk of my loans. teaching was secondary; i saw it as a cool new challenge and a job that would be something in which i actually could be emotionally invested. it has been both of those things, but much more the latter. i want to say i've been a lot more invested than i thought i'd be; to be honest, though, i had no idea how invested i would get. i'm not sure if that sentence makes sense, but it is the essence of why the last few weeks have been weird. having basically no expectations about an experience is a feeling that is entirely unfamiliar to me; i tend to have expectations for everything i do and so not having any about [teaching in] korea, with all of its unknowns and new territory (literally and figuratively), has been hard lately. not as far as adapting to life in a foreign city―that has been pretty easy, really―but in finding some sort of perspective from which to approach this experience. i said before that in general i have expectations for things i do. whether that's good or bad, it gives me a context in which i can place my emotions and a basis from which to understand what i'm thinking and feeling. it allows me to say "okay. this is what i thought it was going to be like, and this is what it's actually like. now i just need to bridge the gap between the two." but the past few weeks have shattered the possibility of that thought process and left me to come up with a new one.

that lack of a thought process has been especially difficult over the last few weeks because there have been some specific emotions that have been intense recently. and they in their combined intensity created a strange mix of feelings that i haven't known how to approach. they are, in no particular order:

 -frustration. almost all of my students lately have been little snots (not just the kindergartners). i've got classes of nine kids who all refuse to talk and classes with a kid or two who should obviously be on ritalin but aren't, and a fair amount of blatant disrespect sprinkled throughout. the advice i have gotten from teachers who have been here longer is to not let it get to me. to do my job and leave it at that. i'd take their advice (english education is little more than a business here, and it's probably smarter to just leave work at work), but the problem is that i care about being a teacher. what i said about getting invested―finally having a job that's got some meaning to it makes me reluctant to relegate it to “that's just how i make a living” status so soon after arriving.

 -anonymity. the ability to be anonymous as a foreigner is a bit of an enigma; i stick out like a sore thumb here yet i can count the people in this huge metropolis who really know me on one hand. it's an odd sensation to be simultaneously known and unknown. and it makes seoul feel rather unwelcoming at times.

 -freedom/contentment. this is a side benefit of the anonymity―it is at times really liberating to be halfway around the world and know so few people. i go where i want to go and do whatever i want to do whenever i feel like it. i'm young and the only thing tying me down is college debt, which teaching is helping to diminish. it's awesome being here for a lot of reasons...a big one is all the travel and learning opportunities that i have. they make me feel like i'm a student again, but this time the streets i walk every day are my classroom and the random people i encounter are my teachers.

 -loneliness. there have been moments lately when i've felt alone in this city of ten million people. i think that feeling alone while surrounded by this energy and these masses is more intense than it would be if i were to feel alone in the middle of the woods somewhere. it's more isolating to know so few people when there are so many swirling around you each day.

all that has been taking over my thoughts and emotions lately, and it's left me feeling like all i can do is experience what's in front of me and leave the processing for a later time, when my mind's got things better sorted. i need an balance of those two things, though, and it's felt recently like the lack of processing has been hindering the experience part a bit. two things this weekend finally changed that. the first was going to the park by our school with ellie on friday night. we got some soju and fanta and just relaxed and talked for a while in one of the many little pagodas there. having separate schedules but living in the same apartment means it's pretty easy to not make a concerted effort to talk to the other person and see how they're really doing. so to just sit and hang out and talk about everything we've each been feeling about being here lately―it was great. most days i still can't believe i up and moved to korea, but i am so glad that i did, and that i did so with my best friend. it is so easy to take for granted someone who is important to you; that slips away when that person is one of the only people who can truly understand a unique experience you're having. the second thing was this afternoon. it was the most beautiful day we've had since being here, i think―clear blue sky, sunshine, temperature in the mid-seventies―so ellie and i packed books, fruit, and some of our newly purchased sharp cheddar cheese (thank you, costco) and went to olympic park. there is a massive grassy area in the middle of the park that is generally filled with families and kids playing, and it's a great spot to spread out a blanket and relax. a few hours there was perfect...i laid down, closed my eyes, and savored the feeling of warm sunshine on my face. such a simple thing, but i haven't taken the time for relaxing and appreciating simple pleasures lately. the book i took with me to the park is a memoir by nicholas sparks called “three weeks with my brother;” it's about a trip they take around the world and it renewed my excitement about being in a new country. during their trip, they do a lot of reflecting on what has brought them each to the points they are at in their lives, and reading the book was such a good reminder that sometimes i just need to step back and look at things from a distance. it's something i've forgotten these past few weeks―to see this experience as a whole and not just the sum of its multiple sometimes-frustrating parts. that's the perspective i've been needing, and it's a relief to have found it. 

i can't believe that there's less than a week left in may...i've been here six weeks already and it's crazy how fast the time is flying by. i miss you all and hope that you are doing well! to end on a light note...

 -the latest additions to my korean vocabulary: left, right, straight, delicious, cheers, water, please give me some red bean ice water, and tofu dumpling stew. you can tell which ones will come in handy and which might not.

 -most random recent experience: getting invited to join eight koreans picnicking in a pagoda while exploring a park with a friend. we took off our shoes and sat down on the mat, got handed dixie cups of rice liquor and chopsticks, and told to dig in. limited language knowledge made for an entertaining time, and the most i gathered was that a) they were pretty excited to have us hang out for a while and b) they were not, for whatever reason, particularly fond of the chinese. while we there it started pouring, so this already random and funny afternoon ended in a mad dash down the mountain with cups of sweet and sour chicken (they insisted we take some for the road) in hand.

love,

heather

a stranger with your doorkey

there's a postal service song called "the district sleeps alone tonight," and one line of the song has really stuck with me lately as i think about being here in korea and trying to both fit in to and observe the culture. the line is this: "a stranger with your doorkey, explaining that i'm just visiting." that describes how i feel after a month over here almost perfectly. my natural tendency is to sit back, to be inconspicuous and observe quietly. forget that. the one thing i am not here is inconspicuous. from the way i look to the way i dress to the way i speak, i stand out. this is not a bad thing; i simply forgot what it's like. the last time i was out of the country was almost two years ago, and i went to europe. there, i pretty much fit in unless i opened my mouth. the last time i was so obviously a foreigner was three years ago in latin america, so it's taking time for the understanding to come back. i got really frustrated this past week with being stared at, getting laughed at, etc. just because i am not korean. it made me mad--when i've seen a foreigner in the us, i've tried hard not to do those things. i feel rude treating someone that way just because they are different from me. but here is what i've realized: one, i laugh at them for trying to be western (using random english phrases on t-shirts, for example..."good old fashioned lover boy" is one of the best i've seen so far), so they can laugh at me when i try fit into the korean culture (my chopstick skills and speaking skills probably are just as amusing). two, i am [a] strange[r] to them. the fact that i'll be living here for another eleven months doesn't make me fit in any more in their eyes. i am truly visiting. more than a tourist, yes, but still just visiting. and i wish i could explain that somehow to the people i encounter walking down the street--that i am not here to intrude, not here to change things or offend, merely to learn about who they are and experience their culture firsthand. 

being here in general still has the feel of a short-term trip to me. school seems more like an interruption of my time to travel and explore than it does my job, and i wonder how long it will take for that to shift. i was talking to one of the other foreign teachers the other day about culture shock, and we were saying that we don't feel like there's ever going to be a big moment of it. we've both just kind of settled into life here and it doesn't feel that much different. yeah, kimchi takes some getting used to, and we get stared at on the street. but on a basic level, life hasn't changed much from what we know. i think only once the feeling of this being a trip wears off will there be potential for culture shock to hit. and even then, i can't see it being a huge thing. i don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing...i'm learning a lot, for sure, but the cultural differences are more subtle here (as opposed to the vibrancy of latin american countries or the history-right-in-the-streets of european countries). i don't know quite what i was expecting in terms of that so i don't have any basis from which to work. that makes it hard to know how i will be affected.

all that said, being here has definitely provided opportunities for some awesome experiences. last weekend we happened to be grocery shopping by olympic park as the olympic torch came through! none of us had our cameras, so our being there didn't get properly documented, but it was really great to be there. leaning against a railing with police buses and a parade rolling by on one side of us, hundreds of chinese waving flags running by on the other...it was pretty cool. not something you get to see in harrisonburg for sure. and this weekend the second annual seoul world dj festival was rocking out on the other side of the city! it started saturday afternoon and went until 5:00 am this morning (monday). we caught the last subway train from our area saturday night and made it about three-quarters of the way before the subway closed. a short taxi ride and a 45-minute walk (with some random foreigners we ran into) later, we found hundreds of people, lots of lights and music that had us dancing until the sun came up sunday morning. i've never been to anything like that before, and the tiredness/soreness are totally worth it :)

a brief update on the pension situation (brief because i don't really know much more than i did before):

-sam, our director, has agreed to register us for pension. we'll receive our first paychecks tomorrow, so we'll be able to see then whether he actually registered us or not.

-the school is getting investigated by the pension office, but we haven't heard anything beyond that fact yet. a friend's uncle owns a school in seoul at which we can most likely get a job if necessary, so that's our current back-up plan. 

hopefully you all enjoyed the photos (if you hadn't yet seen them)! it seems like it will work best to post a whole group at once as a single post, so from now on i will be posting each month's photos at the end of that month/beginning of the next. thanks to everyone who's been emailing/commenting/in general communication! i appreciate it and miss you all.

love, 

heather