motivation

So according to my New Year’s goals, this post should have been written sometime in January or February. I realize the irony of the title.

Those of you who know me probably know that I’ve never been a big gym person. I’ve never really needed to go (sincere thank you, high metabolism) or really wanted to go. OJ, on the other hand, loves going to the gym and has gone for years. Starting last year, I decided I wanted to go more often and make it my goal to build muscle and get stronger. I ordered supplements and protein, and found new exercises to try. It had been going pretty well but I felt like I wasn’t seeing results as quickly as I wanted to. Then, a couple of weeks ago, we were watching some motivational videos on YouTube before we headed to the gym, and I heard the following sentence:

“Going through the motions is the most disadvantageous thing you can do.”

It really struck me because lately I’d felt like that’s exactly what I’d been doing--going through the motions. At work, I was exhausted and just wanted to get through the day so I could go home. In the gym, I wasn’t pushing myself as hard as I could. In daily, routine things, I couldn’t get past the frustration I felt with the general population and their herd mentality. I had also made a few personal rules I wanted to try and follow, and was completely failing to remember them most days. The worst part of everything, though, was that I felt I wouldn’t be able to snap out of it until closer to when we move back to the States. The next few months felt like an eternity, and I wasn’t entirely sure I’d make it out of here without punching a Korean in the face on the subway some particularly frustrating day.

Enter the video and the sentence. I listen to it a few times a week, usually either in the morning or on the way to the gym, and it helps me get into a good mindset and keep a good perspective on things. The idea behind the video (link below) is the speaker’s view on the concept of productivity--time is precious, and to be successful in anything, you’ve got to give it your all the first time around. Going through the motions usually means a lack of mental engagement--if you’re not fully engaged in the task at hand, you’re probably not doing it as well as you could, or getting the most out of it that you could.

It’d be really easy to go through the motions for the rest of my time here. I’ve got less than three months of teaching left, so I could be counting down. I could not care about teaching much. I could let people frustrate me on the subways and sidewalks. I could ignore those rules I want to try to live by.

Or I could be motivated. The great thing about motivation is that while it leads you to the more challenging option, it also leads you to the most fulfilling option. It’s tough to make myself go to the gym some days, but I love that good sore feeling after pushing myself to work hard. Work is exhausting sometimes, but I love that my kids’ faces light up with understanding when I prepare for a good lesson. Riding the subway tends to make me want to smack someone upside the head, but I love that I truly appreciate the great Korean (and non-Korean) people I work with, hang out with, and encounter when I aim to have positive interactions.

The other great thing about motivation is that it can come in so many forms. In the past few weeks since hearing that line in the video, I’ve been taking note of the things that motivate me most. When I need to make the choice to be motivated, these are the things that push me:

* The video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1kzMfRJGhE

* This piece of knowledge:

The running list I’m keeping of three things per day for which I’m thankful has been easy to do, because I’m so blessed in so many areas of my life.

* Interactions like these:

Reminiscing during walks in the park with my old co-worker while she’s in town visiting; being part of a Facebook post with my first awesome group of friends in Busan whose comment count reached 144; having a conversation with a Korean co-teacher about LASIK in which she held out a hand and pointed to either side of it, saying, “My life before. My life after,” and knowing exactly what she meant after I did it.

(speaking of LASIK)

* The surgery I got three weeks ago:

On March 23rd, I had corrective laser surgery on my eyes. I’ve had glasses since I was eight, and contacts since I was about 13 (that’s twenty years of wearing something over or in my eyes in order to see clearly!). Immediately after the surgery, I could see, and once I got through the four hours of awful pain once the anesthesia wore off, it’s been nothing short of amazing. I hadn’t gotten the surgery until recently because I was scared of it; I thought up lots of reasons not to do it, but in reality, I was afraid of what could go wrong. Nothing did, though, and waking up every morning being able to see makes me want to approach things with more thought about the benefits and less about the fear.

* A story I came across on Facebook, and the lesson at the end of it:

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience. The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.” Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

* This list:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lacy-morris/30-things-travelers-must-_b_2924568.html?view=screen

23 down, seven to go.

(and, on that subject)

* Time:

It’s sometimes the biggest motivator of all. Another line in the video says that time is “the one thing you can’t buy or ever buy back.” The more I watch the video, the more that phrase stands out to me. I’ve always said that Korea is in some kind of weird time warp that makes the weeks and months fly by; before I heard that line about going through the motions, I was kind of excited about the time warp in relation to the next few months. I wanted time to go fast. But when I think about the time between today and August flying by, I get a little freaked out. Yeah, there are still days that I just want to get out of here...but I’m still learning more about myself and about the world every day here, and there’s still things to be crossed off Korea to-do lists, and I still need to figure out how to say a proper goodbye to a place that accidentally became a huge part of my life. Above all, though, I don’t want to be someone who wishes time away. That list of things I’m thankful for has made me appreciate the little happinesses of each day, and I know without a doubt that I’d miss too many if I didn’t enjoy the passing of time the way it was intended to be.

I hope this finds you all well and having had a good first few months of 2013. Below there is a link to recent photos. Also, thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers during the recent situation with North Korea.

Love,

Heather

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photo

October’s word is 사진, or “photo.”

Each month this year I’ve been working on two challenges from this list. One of the two I picked this month was to take one photograph each day and write a paragraph about it. As someone who studied writing and photography, and who enjoys both as hobbies, this was a fun challenge for me. At the end of the month, it’s cool to look back and see what moments stood out to me each day. Below are several of my photograph/paragraph sets from the month.


October 1st
Happy places

This has been one of my happiest places in Busan for the past three summers. It hasn’t always been stress-free since becoming one of those in charge, but at its most basic, it’s always been something that’s made me smile. It has given me amazing friends, confidence, and so much fun. Volleyball on the beach is something that Busan gave me for which I will always be thankful.

October 5th
Proper burials

So I’m playing outside in the yard with the baby kindies, because it’s too nice out to have gym class in the playroom. All of a sudden they all gather around something. Knowing how kids are (last time they freaked out it was over a tiny spider on the window at least five feet above any of their heads), I assume it’s something small. I’m right--it’s a dead worm. They’re examining it, poking at it, stepping on it, and then my helper teacher tells them it's dead and asks if they want to make a grave. Their immediate answer is yes. She places the worm just under the edge of the porch, and every single kid went and found a leaf and laid it nicely on top of the worm, and left it alone for the rest of the time. Respect for the dead from four-year-olds.

October 11th
Super smart kids

This is my favorite class at Kids Club. They went through the kindergarten program here, and were some of the smartest ones in their class both then and now. I can talk at normal speeds and in full sentences with them, and they understand. They like to joke around and they LOVE having class outside. We don’t get a lot done when we go outside because there are so many things to see and touch and talk about, but their curiosity is so fun and I really like listening to their conversations.

October 18th
Creepy crawlies

We’ve been spending this month talking mostly about Halloween, so we’ve gotten to make some crafts. Today we made these little spiders, and I got the supplies and the template from a Korean co-teacher. She didn’t know how many legs spiders have, and apparently I must have had a momentary lapse in memory because I went ahead and followed her design of six legs. My kids got to feel smart, though, when they told me spiders have eight legs and I realized my mistake.

October 19th
Break on the bench

Some days I just need to get out of the building, and today was one of those days. My kids were driving me nuts and I wasn’t feeling the best, and Sunny Teacher had given me an orange juice. I took it and my Kindle and went to the park. I didn’t have a lot of time, so I just picked a bench right inside the entrance. It’s amazing how a half hour in the sunshine with a good book can pick up your mood.


October 25th
Yup, that about sums it up

Rose’s face in this photo really says it all. This photographer is mean and never seems to be satisfied, no matter how hard the kids try. Whenever we have a photo shoot she picks at the kids, yells at some of them, makes one cry now and then. She spent this photo shoot molding their faces like they were blocks of clay, and it took ages. This photo is from not too far into the day, and they were already tired of it.


October 26th: School, Halloween
Superheroes and princesses

Every year that I’ve been in Korea has brought the same small variety of costumes on Halloween at school: superheroes for the boys, and princesses for the girls, with a random ghost or witch thrown in. This year was no exception. Luckily the kids are cute, to cancel out the repetitiveness of the holiday. We went on a costume parade through the park and had fun taking pictures and running around dressed up.


October 27th
Oh, this is strange

Mr. Yi, OJ’s coworker, invited us to his daughter’s wedding, which was the first Korean one I’ve been to. They did it in one of many “wedding halls” located around the city which are kind of like little wedding factories. The couple has some input, but they’re definitely rushed in and out. The wedding lasts 15-30 minutes, and takes place in a big room that’s open at the back so that noise flows freely. Then everyone is rushed down to a buffet for lunch, and that’s over in about half an hour as well. The newly married couple doesn’t even show up for the meal because they’re busy taking pictures in hanbok. Pretty different from how most people in the States celebrate their special day.


October 30th
I’m a nerd

My new dictionary came! Actually, it came a few days ago, but I haven’t had much of a chance to look at it. I really want to start school for translation (and possibly interpretation) when we get to California, and I’ve been studying a little each week to brush back up on my Spanish. I have a book that I’ve been using to work on text stuff, but I’ve only been using Google Translate to help with words I don’t know. This dictionary is awesome and it’s going to be so helpful as I work on this. I am super excited to start using it, but part of me doesn’t even want to touch it because it’s so pretty.


October 31st
One little puppy did THAT?

After all the time we’ve spent lately talking about how cute Mandu is and how glad we are to have gotten him and how good he’s been, Mandu did this. We can’t figure out what could have possibly possessed him to do it, besides potentially the fact that his nails are getting long. But they’ve been long before and nothing like this happened. Back to square one for figuring out how to best set him up during the day...


Hope this finds you all happy and well, and safe if you're on the East Coast and were in the area that Sandy hit. Love and hugs to everyone! I'll post some photo album links with next month's blog.

Love,
Heather

remember

August and September’s word is 기억해요, or “remember.”

It’s 10:30 on Saturday night, and I’m Starchild from Kiss, sitting on a couch in my favorite bar. The Demon is next to me taking a quick nap. Our friends Catman and Spaceman are wandering around talking to ajummas, ninja turtles, and the cast of the “Hot Cheetos and Takis” video, among others. I am exhausted; several hours of scavenger hunting around Busan taking pictures and videos of ourselves doing random things like playing leap-frog with ajosshis and leading some college kids in the “Gangnam Style” dance have got me feeling like I’m too old for this. We’ve been here for four hours and we have another half hour to go until winners are announced, and all I want is to go home and sleep. But we’re staying because we know we’ve got the Best Costume prize wrapped up, and hearing our names announced is going to make the exhaustion worth it.

Fast forward to 10:30 on Monday morning. I’m laying in bed because Typhoon Sanba has given us the day off of work. Mandu is curled up under the covers between OJ and I because his two favorite things are snuggling in soft blankets and being wherever we are. I’m thinking back to Saturday night, bothered by how it was all I could do to stay awake on the couch (let alone wander around and be social). I’m remembering a similar event that I participated in when I lived in Seoul, and thinking about how different I felt at the same point in the evening back then.

I was, of course, three years younger and in my first year in Korea. In the span of most lifetimes, three years isn’t so much. But in the span of my four years here, it’s huge. And understanding both of those things is what has made me think about the importance of remembering.

Remember why you came.
Everyone here has a story of how they came to be in this place. For me, it started with a feeling of needing to get out of Harrisonburg--a town that had been my home for five years, a town that I loved, but a town that was starting to close in on me--and ended five weeks later when I got off of a plane in Incheon with Ellie. She said, “Hey, let’s go to Korea!” one night during a conversation in the living room. I got up, got a glass of water from the kitchen, and came back to say, “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Sounds simple, but even though I reached that decision after about twenty seconds of contemplation, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I can’t honestly remember what went through my head in that short time. But it felt like the right response to Ellie, and it turned out that there were several reasons to make glad I didn’t change my mind. Everyone has their reasons for coming here: the adventure of the unknown, the possibility of travel, the money to help pay off student loans, and the freedom offered by a brand-new place. OJ came to take the place of a fellow Marine who would have been separated from his family for a year. Some friends from EMU came after they heard Ellie’s and my stories and thought they’d like a similar experience. These, and a hundred others I might never hear, are why we came.

Remember why you stayed.
The reasons that bring us here are usually the same ones that keep us: the adventures we realize we can have, the knowledge that tons of amazing countries are just a few hours’ flight away, the image of student loan balances dropping thousands in a couple of months, and the freedom we come to enjoy.

Other times, what makes us stay is what we discover in the course of daily life: the little kids that launch themselves at us as soon we walk in the classroom door, laughing with Korean co-teachers at things that are funny in any language, smiles shared with the Family Mart cashier whose store we pass every day.

And still other times, we stay for the special things that Korea gives us: family on the other side of the world, sunsets over mountains and beaches in the same city, and the hundreds of people you pass on streets and sit next to on subways whose stories you’ll never know that remind you how big the world is.

Remember that you’re leaving.
This is the one that inspires the others. A realization that time is limited can push anyone to change or to action, or at least to a shift in perspective. I don’t have any specific statistics, but I can say fairly confidently that the vast majority of foreigners who come here don’t make it their permanent home. Whether we stay for a year or four or ten, at some point we head back to where we came from, or head on to a new place. The end result is the same--we leave.

There have been so many times in the past several weeks when I’ve felt like I’m just ready to go. Whether it’s feeling like I’m exhausted all the time, or being frustrated yet again at something I can’t change about the culture, I want to move on. But I’ve been making myself stop and think about that desire and realize that I will be moving on in just six short months. In the span of my four years here, that’s a small amount of time. Understanding this is what pushed me to think about why I came and why I stayed, to keep remembering the things that I tend to forget, and to be thankful for every good thing, big or small, that has been added to my life by coming to Korea.

Remembering that there will be goodbyes is, I think, the most crucial part to being present. The other morning I was looking through old stuff on Facebook and found this status I posted when I left two Octobers ago:
“could not have asked for a better send-off. busan chingus, i love you all to death and i can’t wait till our paths cross again, whether it’s back here in january or whenever life feels like it’s time. thank you so, so much for one of the best years of my life. until next time~ 사랑해요. america, see you in a few...”
When I posted that, I was headed to the States for a few months and then coming back to a new job here. It was only a temporary absence, but it was so bittersweet to go. I was going home to friends and family I hadn’t seen in a year and who I missed a lot, but I was leaving people who had, as I wrote, made that year one of the best of my life. The knowledge that I want to have the same feeling when I leave for good, with OJ and Mandu and four years of growth, love, and memories and headed to a new adventure, instills in my mind the perspective I need.


I hope this finds you all enjoying some beautiful fall weather like we are in Korea. Below are links to photos from my parents' visit to Korea :) 

Love and miss you all,
Heather


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https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.550531559669.2028047.148800130&type=1&l=68c6e8877f

small things

July’s phrase is 작은 것들, or “small things.”

Life in any place is full of small experiences and moments that, if viewed cumulatively instead of individually, bring a deep happiness. This idea is something that I’ve begun to see more clearly in recent weeks as I work toward enjoying my last several months in Korea. Although there are still about nine of those left, after four years in this country it’s easy to let the things that frustrate me color my experiences, and I want to enjoy the rest of my time here rather than count it down.

Some days it takes a certain strength of mind to do the former, but it’s so worth it. This past week my parents were here visiting and we were lucky enough to have a couple of the awesome small moments that make Korea special. The one that stands out most to me happened when we were up on Geumjeong Fortress; we had ridden the cable car up and were enjoying the view from a lookout when an elderly Korean couple joined us. We helped them out to the rocks with us, and they then invited us to have some plums and cherry tomatoes in the shade with them. They both spoke English and we ended up talking to them for a long time, discussing the differences between our cultures and what has made Korea how it is. I think that that situation, just as much as taking my parents to school with me and showing them places I love here, helped them understand why I’ve made this country my home for over four years. It reminded me why as well.

Most foreigners here can describe having “I hate Korea” and “I love Korea” moments or days, and it’s pretty self-explanatory how each can affect our moods. There’s a choice, though, in which we let affect us. Allow too many of the “I hate” ones an open door and daily life becomes something to just get through. Look for as many as we can of the “I love” ones and daily life becomes an opportunity to find a lot of smiles.

So we enjoy the small things. We enjoy the tiny pieces of life here that make it so worth it, that, if we let them, more than make up for the things that aren’t so great. Being pushed on the subway annoys the crap out of anyone raised with the concept of personal space; true. But it makes the times that someone actually says “Excuse me” or “I’m sorry” to us stand out a lot more. There are some things here that will always bother us, but not wanting to let those dictate our attitudes make us focus better on the things that do the opposite. My personal list from recent weeks: 70-year-old Koreans interested in honest conversation, watching the waves crash on the rocks at Igidae, tiny kids with animal backpacks, OJ and my parents finally meeting in person, joking around with my Korean co-teachers, volleyball on the beach with Gwangali Bridge for a backdrop, the late afternoon sunlight on Busan’s mountains, wandering with Mandu through the twisting alleys near our apartment, and a Friday night baseball game followed by a lazy Saturday morning.

Happy middle-of-the-summer everyone--here’s to counting memories instead of counting down. I love and miss you all, and will post photos from the "Nyce Korean Adventure" soon.

Love,
Heather

student and teacher

June’s words are 학생, or “student” and 선생님, or “teacher.”

Anyone who works as a teacher can tell you this: You learn just as much from your students as they learn from you, if not more. This is something that I’ve found to be true on multiple levels in Korea. I’ve taught kids aged three up to 16 each of my four years here, and they’ve all taught me lessons. Some were expected (I’ve learned quite a bit of patience after so many kindergarten classes) and some were surprising, but all were valuable.

I’ve chosen these two words this month because of one class in particular. The class is a discussion and writing class that uses articles from a Korean-produced, English-language newspaper tailored to teenagers. The students are four girls ages 13 to 16 who have good enough ranges of vocabulary and grammatical skills that I can speak with them as I would native English speakers. They also have the ability to, often simultaneously, both drive me nuts and open my eyes to what makes Korea the way it is. The best example I can give of this happened a few weeks ago--we were in the middle of a discussion about North Korea’s most recent rocket launch, and the 14-year-old pulled double eyelid tape out of her bag. Google it if you’ve never heard of it, and you’ll understand why that was the end of talk about Kim Jong-un and his late father. We spent the rest of that class period as well as the next two talking about what Korean society deems beautiful--the pervasiveness and societal acceptance of plastic surgery, K-pop stars as role models, the value placed on material things--and how to get away from that mentality. I had them each think about the positive aspects of themselves and of the other girls and then share their thoughts so that we could talk about what makes a person who they are, inside and out. I hope that it had a positive effect on them, but regardless, it made me a lot more aware of how influenced kids are here by society and the media. I knew it was a lot, but the intensity of their reactions to it was disturbing. I came away from that situation understanding a lot better why the level of superficiality in this country isn’t going to drop any time soon.

There is one student in particular in that class with whom I’ve had especially good discussions. Her English name is Melody and she’s only 13, but she seems much older. Melody has been a student at the academy where I work, Kids Club, for nine years. She’s had a ton of different foreign and Korean teachers over that time, but none of that inconsistency has impeded her progress. Occasionally the other three will all be out for tests (they are in middle school but she’s still in elementary), and it will be just Melody and I. I don’t dread that one-on-one like I would with some other students, because she is extremely intelligent and has opinions that she discusses openly. From her I have learned about the education system here, Korean history as it relates to the countries around it, and what this society holds as valuable. Through conversations about articles on ties to Japan, North Korea’s crazy dictators, or the Chinese claiming “Arirang” (a Korean folksong), I’ve come to better understand how an intense nationalism has spread through this relatively young country.

History is written by whoever has the pen and is depicted by whoever has the brush. Usually it’s whoever has won the battles or the wars; that’s true everywhere. In Korea, however, the facts in the history books are accompanied by an oral history. Some tell events of the past with open contempt for those who have dominated the people here. It’s understandable that older Korean men and women who experienced the occupation by the Japanese (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korea_under_Japanese_rule) and the Korean War (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_War) have some terrible memories of those times. The stories they tell to their children and grandchildren are, naturally, going to reflect those memories. But often it’s not the stories that get passed along; only their emotion is passed on, and they don’t stop to think about the consequences of that anger being accepted without question. Many of my students have told me that they hate Japan, but can only tell me that it’s because their grandmother said she did, or because their father said they should. Melody, in all her intelligence and desire to learn, is one of those students.

There has been a positive outcome of those sentiments, however, at least for me as a teacher here. It’s led to conversations about different perspectives, the ability of people to change, and why it’s necessary to question the reason behind things. This is a society that functions on the premise of doing what one is “supposed to do,” of having the right look, the right grades, the right status...if I can get a few students to open their minds to other ways of thinking, then I have done my job as a teacher. That class of four girls has been a place for that discourse, and the learning on the parts of the students and myself has been a really cool experience.

I hope that you all are doing well and enjoying summer! I can’t believe that tomorrow is already the beginning of July. My parents are coming for a visit in just over three weeks, and I am extremely excited to see them and to show them my life here. I’ll have lots of pictures to post after they leave :)

Love,
Heather

play

May’s word is 놀이, or “play.”

The theme for this month’s blog comes from a book I’ve been reading, Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. She spent one year working on personal happiness, choosing a different area of life for each month. Her area of focus for May was play; in specific, being serious about play. Some of her goals were to “find more fun,” “take time to be silly,” and “go off the path.”

The concept of being serious about play is an interesting one in Korea. Initially the phrase struck me as being simultaneously completely true and a complete joke. The disparity lies in one’s age, but it’s not what you may be thinking. Ironically, the older they are, the harder they play here. Regardless of age, however, I don’t think that I see any of those three goals in action here.

I, like many foreigners in Korea, teach kids. Mine range from age four to age 16, and except for the littlest ones, they study. A lot. Homework starts in kindergarten and the amount increases steadily as you continue through your schooling. This in itself isn’t anything out of the ordinary, until you add in the fact that many kids here also start going to 학원, or academy, from the age of six. By the time they reach second grade, they have three or four academies in addition to their regular school. Piano, Chinese writing, taekwondo, art, English, math...subjects across the board are all covered to ensure a child is on the right path to success. By the time they’re in middle school, they leave their houses by 8:00 a.m. and often don’t return home until 9:00 or 10:00 p.m. In addition to regular school and academies, they then have study academy--the parents say it’s to prepare them for high school and university, but the actual end result is that whatever’s left of their childhood is stamped out.

A regular Friday occurrence in my classes is this exchange:
Me: (Student’s name), what are you going to do on the weekend?
Student: Teacher, I will study! Always study.
This comes from students of all ages, and it’s such a sad thing to hear. I actually had an eight-year-old student at my school in Seoul tell me once that she was only allowed to play on holidays. There are only about 15 of those all year in Korea, to give you an idea of how little free time she was talking about.  

And then you have the adults. Those here who have finished their long, exhausting years of education definitely don’t get to just relax--they often work long weekday hours and weekends, too--but they also play hard. Korea has a huge drinking culture, and it fills a lot of post-work time for many adults. At most workplaces, it’s an unspoken requirement to attend dinners with the whole office; these dinners nearly always involve multiple bottles of beer and soju and can end with karaoke alongside the boss.

Koreans also take their activities seriously. Most adults have at least one thing they’re involved in, and when I say “involved,” I mean really into it. They form clubs so that regular events are organized, and each member gets every piece of equipment and clothing they might ever possibly need (or not need). It’s not unusual to be passed on the street by a group of 20 ajosshis on bicycles covered head to toe in spandex, with several attachments on their bikes, and wearing helmets, glasses, and masks. Some of us who play volleyball on the beach went to play indoor one day after being invited by our Korean friend--the first hour was spent running drills, and the remaining time in a 9-v-9 match with no rotation.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love bike rides, and drills are always helpful, but there’s a whole different kind of intensity here when it comes to what people do for fun. My idea of intense is in the physical sense--pushing myself hard on the volleyball court and diving for digs. A Korean ajumma’s idea of it is more superficial--making sure she’s suited up with one of everything the hiking store sells before she heads up the mountain.

There’s a pervasive sense here of everyone needing to do what they’re “supposed” to do. Fulfilling those expectations that others have is what leads to kids not getting to be kids. Generally speaking, parents want the best for their kids, but here, parents want their kids to be the best. This is why they’re in school from the age of two or three and being pushed through their entire childhood to study, study, study. I realize that as teachers here, foreigners are a part of that system and so are perpetuating it. That’s something I’ve struggled with at times while being here. But the conclusion I’ve come to is that there will always be another person to take the job; since I’m here, I’m trying to help my kids “find more fun,” as Rubin says. I make a point of being silly with my kids and leaving time for them to be kids in and around class. It’s easy, because it lies in the little things: funny faces, exaggerated reactions, and silly dancing during singing time. Some of my small ones have the best laughs, and I love eliciting that from them.

Rubin also talks in her book about the difference between what’s fun for others and what we truly find fun. I think that the need to follow the crowd extends to play for Koreans; this is not a culture in which following one’s own likes or desires is very encouraged. Their forming of clubs in which everyone does and looks the same is a prime example. I’m sure they join the clubs for a reason, but I guarantee that not everyone in the hiking club actually wants to spend the money on and wear all the gear. They do it because here, it’s what one is supposed to do. Not only does that societal norm make it difficult to understand one’s own idea of fun, there’s a lack of variety in activities as well. Some aspects of Korea have undergone a rapid Westernization: within a city block you can usually find at least one each of a Western restaurant, coffee chain, and sportswear store. Play, however, is one area that’s changing more slowly. This is a culture that isn’t always open to different things, so many newer sports and leisure activities are taking some time to get onto the peninsula. Even people who do know what they truly enjoy are limited in what’s available and might not be able to do it.

The third goal, “get off the path,” is the one that I think has the most relevancy here. Both foreigners and Koreans get stuck in certain activities, certain routines, that don’t vary. That’s not a bad thing because those things are enjoyable; that’s why we do them. However, it’s important to remember the kind of play that we experienced as children. There was spontaneity and creating in that, and we often forget the joy which those things bring. So much about my and other foreigners’ lives in Korea caters directly to letting us play. Whether it’s the weekdays with the kids we teach or the weekends we spend away from work, we have to take the cues around us to enjoy the smiles, laughter, and an expansion of the mind that play evokes.

Hope this finds you all happy and well! Below is an album of photos from this spring. Miss you all!

Love,
Heather


Random collection of photos from February through May:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.546894697969.2027276.148800130&type=3&l=e84d2ebb5a