2011 was one of the best years in my life so far, and when I look back on it, I can see a few clear reasons why. I began a relationship with and fell in love with an amazing guy, I started a job at a great school that I like enough to continue for another year, and I’ve been surrounded by some pretty awesome people. Those reasons for such a good year were all results of my decision to spend a second year in Busan, but the actual happening of each rested mainly on others. That’s not a bad thing; I really look forward to all of those things continuing in my life. But I’ve been realizing lately that while it’s fine to let others make you happy, it’s not okay to rely on them to do so.
Something I feel like I failed at doing last year was challenging myself. In complete contrast to the year before last, during which I felt like every week there was some new problem to face at work (and during which I had to deal with them all in order to maintain sanity), life was pretty good last year and I didn’t make much of an effort to push anything. Rather than push myself to grow, I sat back and only dealt with the very few difficult things that came along if I felt like it. This year, I want that to change. Whether life’s crappy or awesome, full of new challenges or fairly smooth, I’m going to be pushing myself. I truly appreciate new situations and new places because they make me think, grow, and move forward. I’ve been in Korea long enough now that new things don’t always just happen regularly in the course of daily life. So it’s on me to create them.
In my search for ways to do that, I’ve gathered a few things so far. My wonderful friend Maddy gave me a book called The Happiness Project, which I look forward to reading, and sent me this list that included some stuff I really needed to read. On that website I found another list that I look forward to using this year.
One of my projects for this year is something I’m tying into my New Year’s resolution to write one blog each month (I realized while writing this that I haven't posted since April of last year...oops). Back when I was living in Seoul, I wrote a chapter for a book about Korea that a friend was putting together. I ended up not contributing my chapter but saved my work because I liked the idea that I had. Something I’ve found to be true about Korea is that this place, out of all the other countries I’ve been to, is the hardest one to explain to people who haven’t been here. The chapter I wrote for the book attempted to do so through sections of a Korean word (and its English translation) and what it’s meant to me and/or how I feel it relates to foreigners in general here. This the format I want to use for my blogs this year; in the past I’ve written a lot about my personal journey and got a lot of positive comments on that, but I want to convey more of this country and society that I’ve spent so much time in.
That said, January’s word is 외국인, or “foreigner.”
This is a word which has varied both in intensity of the feelings I have toward it and in meaning during the time I’ve been here. It’s a very widely-used word in the Korean language; it’s typical to pass a child and hear, “엄마! 외국인 입니다!” (Mom! It’s a foreigner!). During my time here I’ve gone back and forth between not really caring when I hear that and becoming really annoyed, almost to the point of saying, “한국인 입니다!” (It’s a Korean!) back to them. I think that is the case for most other foreigners here as well. What it comes down to, though, is that it’s not intended to be negative. It’s just how Koreans speak. For all their dislike of confrontation, and for all the ways they have to avoid being direct when it might create confrontation, Koreans call some things exactly as they see them. In terms of physical things, they will comment without the same regard for tact or subtlety that most Westerners use: they’ll exclaim to you about how tired you look, they’ll tell a friend directly to their face that they’re fat because they eat too much, and they’ll state an obvious fact (Hey, you’re a foreigner!).
The meaning that the word “foreigner” has to me was initially one of being, as in the direct translation, an alien. Korea has a culture entirely different from, and thus much more difficult to understand than, any other place I’ve been. With this being the case, a lot of what foreigners encounter when they first arrive here is strange, illogical, and/or frustrating. Some of those things will invoke those adjectives even if you’re here forever; some become amusements or sources of jokes the longer you’re here. In the former category: spitting in public being considered acceptable but not blowing your nose, finding out about work functions the day of when it’s been planned for over a month, or the complete lack of help for foreigners in labor disputes. In the latter: the inclusion of pickles with every meal at a Western restaurant, outfits on dogs, or guilt trips about taking sick days when they’re included in contracts. Those vary for everyone, but in general I’ve found that most foreigners here can think of a few things that fall into each category for them.
No matter where you live, there are going to be frustrations, and Korea is no exception. There are some things about Korea that will annoy people to no end no matter how long they’re here, but those things become part of life. And as they become part of life, our own countries can begin to feel more foreign than this one. Ask anybody who’s lived abroad for more than a year or two, and they’ll tell you--going back “home” felt really strange. Obviously there are things we miss about where we’ve all come from, but in most cases, we’ve made this new place our home. So when we leave, it’s not so much a reverse culture shock as an interruption of the life we’ve known here. And that is the other definition of “foreigner” that becomes true here--being as much a stranger in the new place as in the old.
I hope the new year has started off wonderfully for all of you! Below are links to all the photos since last time I posted (there are a lot, sorry).
Lots of love and hugs,
Heather
Some awesome coastal areas of Busan:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.524155327849.2022975.148800130&type=3&l=5f075ee0b1
Exploring Tongdosa Temple and Wolchulsan National Park:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.524167338779.2022984.148800130&type=3&l=371e46e2a3
Springtime fun:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.524174025379.2022988.148800130&type=3&l=e0bc241a03
Wandering around Gwangali Beach, Beomeosa Temple, and Nampo-dong:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.525021327379.2023250.148800130&type=3&l=8540cf496c
Weekend trip to Geoje Island:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.525686579209.2023525.148800130&type=3&l=5fd601bd5c
Summer vacation in China and Thailand:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.528822020759.2024213.148800130&type=3
Random collection from the end of summer and beginning of fall:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.531252944169.2024849.148800130&type=3&l=4576189286
Kindies from March through September:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.531286990939.2024862.148800130&type=3&l=ff451e1bd1
Naewonsa Valley, fireworks festival, and Geumjeong Fortress:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.532276088779.2025068.148800130&type=3&l=5f7684f8bf
Trip to the Philippines for Christmas (1st album):
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.535836049589.2025574.148800130&type=3&l=4545d600cc
Trip to the Philippines for Christmas (2nd album):
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.535837950779.2025575.148800130&type=3&l=409c48ab6f
